Doctors

I work eight hours a day five days a week and I usually work from 8.20 – 16.20 which also happens to be the times that doctors are on duty.. So, getting to a doctor is very difficult. I’ve had a sore belly all week so since its lasted a week I thought that maybe it was time to seek professional help.

The Health Centre

First off I phoned the health centre.

‘Hello, I’d like to book an appointment with a doctor please’
‘How about next weeks Thursday at 10.00?’
‘Am afraid not, I have work then’
‘Ok what about Friday the 31st at 8.30?’
‘Am working then too. During the week I work till about 4 o’clock apart from Fridays when I finish at 14′
‘A-haaaaa. Well the only Friday we have is in four weeks from now at 13.40.’

So I booked it figuring I could really haul arse after work and with a bit of luck would only be 5 minutes late. Got a call today saying they’ve had to move the time, and I cancelled it cos I had already executed my backup plan…

Accident and Emergency

When I took a bout of food poisoning about a month back I went to accident and emergency. Went there again to see if I could just find some hot doctor to put his hands on me and tell me that my stomach wasn’t going to explode.

‘Sorry can’t help you cos it’s a long standing illness’
‘But it’s getting worse all the time!’
‘Sorry, go to your GP’
‘I can’t get to my GP cos it’s never open’
‘Well.. tough shit, cos you’re not coming here’

Work Health Centre

So.. I thought ‘Right.. can’t take time off work, so go to the doctor during work’ since there’s a health centre there. Phoned up the work doctor and she said she had time.. then it turned out that I wasn’t on her records and so couldn’t use the service. Went to the office to see if there was any way for me to get on the records there and was phoned up later and told nopeeee…

So.. pissed off due to stomach pain and two days of trying to see a lesser-spotted-doctor I made a snotty decision.. and went to a private doctor!

The Private Doctor (am I posh or what?)

I phoned up the private clinic yesterday and the woman on the phone was very pleasant, didn’t ask me my symptoms* but did ask if I wanted an appointment for that very same day. I said there was no need for that sort of malarky so she booked me in for today at 10am.

I felt like I’d made it to the promised land. Was a bit dubious to start off with cos there was a queue at the front desk where I had to go to tell them I’d arrived. Was also a bit dodgy that they had credit card machines just sitting there at each terminal ’stick your card in and get out pills’. Once I met my doctor though all doubts vanished. He knew what he was doing! Wow.. so made it to the doc and he said he wanted to do blood tests but warned that of course they’d cost since it’s a private clinic but that he could also write a note so I could get the tests done at the regular clinic. I decided to go the whole hog and Miss V.I.P got into the lab, had the tests taken and before I knew it I was home and the doc was calling me to tell me the results of my tests. Amazing. Yes it costs.. but you get what you pay for and I’m helping society by not tying up the regular clinics :D Nifty…

* Why is it that whenever you’re trying to book a time with the doctor at one of those wee receptionist hatches, they always ask what the problem is? Like they can do anything about it anyway.. and there’s always a queue behind you. Luckily I’ve never suffered from piles or severe diarrhoea** :S

** Not sure I even know the word for piles in Finnish so I’d probably have to mime my symptoms to the receptionist…